#5 Ways a #Male Protagonist/Hero Knows his Romance Author is Cheating on Him #RatedMature

#1 His document file remains untouched … 

In the beginning it was a passionate love affair, there were not enough hours in the day for “said typist” to satisfy their needs, to spend every minute solely on him, slaving, slathering, salivating as the story hit the page in graphic detail. Oh’ the fervor was electric, his character and energy, building, growing, escalating and wait, excuse me, what’s that? Yeah…exactly, crickets! Where the heck did that #$!@&%*go? Hello? Author, we are not finished here!Awkward-silence-e1378058433778.jpg

#2 His creator accidentally calls him by a different name …

When, finally “said storyteller” opens the word file lamenting lame excuse after excuse, having not been able to find his specified folder, mislabeling the work, or worse, accidentally deleted their idiosyncratic draft. How could this have happened to their supposed one-of-a-kind, spiritually satisfying soul-mate, “I will die without you” connection? Suddenly typing starts again at a furious pace, rushing down the poetic highway at lush breakneck speeds when his name is written wrong. Hans??? Who the H – E double L is Hans? My name is George!

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#3 Lackluster regard deems him ordinary, and a sub-character begins to shine … 

Somewhere, during chapter six, hero finds himself sitting on a couch, hand inside his waistband, scratching once-hard abdominals when the neighbor Richard is out mowing the lawn and removes his t-shirt. Dick’s, a.k.a Richard’s, well-formed muscles twitch beneath the gentle glow of perspiration, and the sun hits his Adonis face in a new light. A torso of unblemished skin tanned and toned tapers seductively into a pair of perfectly fitting khakis, top-button accidentally undone. Dick is lean muscle, gorgeous and oozing sensuality. The dimple on his chin deepens as he nods a cocky, knowing smile. Note to character self, “Richard is a D _ _ k!”blog post

#4 Font style and size changes …

Nearing the 55,000-word count high, the whole manuscript shifts, Times New Roman 12 turns into Calibri 8 ?, double-spacing into single and the gravity of the situation hits this protagonist like a meteor in the gut. He has become a casualty in his novelist’s life, the exclusivity of the writer/character liaison doomed. Their once properly formatted document becomes casual, friendly, of what can only be described as ‘hobbyist’ in nature. Dust bunnies in the corner shall receive more attention. What is it you need me to do? I am nothing without you! 

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#5 “Said word-smith, fiction dabbler” spends more time eating …

“Said inspirational artist” sits long hours staring at the pixelated screen, three bowls deep into a favorite bag of chips, offering excuses that the fault lies within them and not the hero/protagonist, flipping open tabs at the top of their monitor looking for crafting classes, WIP help-guides and exhaling deep moans, once of exhilaration, now filled with retching sobs of defeat, revealing tutelage and counseling will be to no avail.

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The unsung leading man fades into the mist and his replacement steps in.

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I don’t know dude, maybe it was something I said. #AmWriting

Written in honor of Blonde Write More, my happy blonde writing friend.

Write on! ❤ Jessica

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