#Happy #June #Baby

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That’s right, so let’s get up and dive in!

(The inspiration is more for me than anyone else, yikes.)

Over on my blog jessicaedouard.com, the one covered in cobwebs and filled with chirping crickets, because I’m a happenstance, infrequent visitor to a blog plastered with my name.

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#WTHJ (What the Heck, Jessica) #GYST (Get your s___together, stuff people, lol) But don’t I make a cute #Kenny? Continue reading

Dumped, Dumpee, Duped? Call it what you will…

Relationships…who needs em?

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Yet, we all do right?

If you are not of the A variety you usually fall into the B category, dumper, duper…sleazebag. Fear not, there is the beauty of karma, irony & fate.

Are these common situations any different in the universe of Writing?

The idea behind American Writers was to expose the underbelly of the journey, our trials, our frustrations, our moments of complete failure, scratches, and occasional success. Instead of being amongst the slew of Writers who claim to be Writers and know everything about Writing …so very much more (yes, I used-so, very & much) than the other 3 gazillion and 4 Writers  (no supporting research data) in the world of Writerdom.

Jeesh, Sally calm down. Not only do I hear you, I feel you sister, but 1st let me bow.

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So what’s the deal with critique groups? Either they are of a higher echelon that you are unworthy of attending or members suck what they can until the group no longer serves their purpose and move on. To where? I believe we still inhabit the same plot structure.

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Ummm, really?

The greatest advice is “be your own cheerleader,” because we have to, yet, there are those few who fall victim to their own great marketing strategies. Even the humble play at being humble to get continued positive strokes. Yikes…

The brilliance of the “CG” situation is enlightening. We all falsely believe WE are the better Writer. And, being amongst the ton is helpful. We are different people, voices, and points of view. Each lends a hand in improving each other in whichever state we find our current WIP. Work in progress, use your words, acronyms don’t make you sound smarter and it’s freaking annoying.

Is there a graceful way to ditch a peer group and move on? Without using flowery bullshit that grownups can decipher? And exactly what is being said to those left behind? I rock, you suck, later dudes.

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We can see you, we have this thing called the internet.

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Brilliant, NOT mine, #FML

Twenty-eight months ago I began the quest for my personal holy grail. I’ve met great people, industry professionals, received the worst advice given to mankind (that I inhaled) and spent thousands of dollars as every other would-be, wanna-be Writing genius. I have a collection of 4 blogs, 2 of which believe I am dead, too many social media accounts to keep up with and am the proud owner of multiple pen names. I have walked away from critique groups and, recently, have been walked out on.

Bound to happen, right?

The decerning piece is when I give my word to writers who have asked something if me, I follow through to the best of my ability and while I don’t have the whole shit and caboodle figured out, I will.

Only the best-Truly-Sour grapes and all

Write On-<3 Jess

Okay its MEME time

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“Confessions Of a Retail Whore”

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If you have ever worked for the public—as a food server, a store clerk, or a person behind a counter providing a smile and assistance for people who neglect to respect you and might give you a rotten time, a great book has come on the scene by Jess E. I would recommend it highly for saying exactly what you thought and couldn’t say aloud for fear of losing your job.

Jess E remains anonymous to protect their identity and “tell it like it is!” I laughed out loud as did my husband.
Some of you might recognize yourself in customer interactions, Oops. If you are demanding of perfection from sellers or service providers, it might not be as pleasant to read as it will be for the rest of us who have walked in Jess E’s shoes.
Putting the shoe on the other foot might do you, your son, your daughter, your spouse a lesson in how to treat others. I wished I had had this booklet lying around when I was still working. Super gift for the lunchroom!
Check it out on Amazon.

A blurb from a reader!
Write On! ❤ Jesse

Death 2 a “Pantser”

Woe to thee, mine heart, mine breath, all known to me as whimsy and flair.

I hear you speak in words yet to be spoken, I see you clear.

Vision is fancy, a perilous play to the sanity of one.

Infected is this mind, fool—perhaps, is what I have become.

Victim, I refuse to fall.

I choose your light to flow from mine hand and gasp life as you have asked me to pen.

Survive—my dearest of friends, for expression has meaning.

Your story deserves to be written down.

CUE-MICHAEL SEMBELLO “MANIAC.”

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Now that I have my ‘purply-ness’ out of the way, I welcome you once again to Thursday, the day after the proposed marked posting for IWSG, but none-the-less an entry in a just cause we writer types should acknowledge.

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Thank You, Mr. Cavanaugh, and I bid you, yet, another, pardon for my tardiness. Friends, colleagues, individuals known as my peers, I present to you the label me NOT post.

In the beginning, I understood writers were categorized into 2 groups-“Pantser or Planner.” You were one or the other—you could not be both. So I fell for it.

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-CLARIFICATION-

Let us define “Pantser” straight from the valuable archives of the Urban Dictionary…

A NaNoWriMo term that means that you ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ when you are writing your novel. You have nothing but the absolute basics planned out for your novel.


This outlook towards writing is often opposed by the ‘planner,’ who knows exactly what is going to happen when it will happen, and where it will happen. There is often enmity between the two types of writers.

Another pantser?! Seriously, GTFO.

Truly their words-I am less inclined to believe it comes directly from NaNoWriMo..but who am I? My understanding is that even the basics need not be planned. The specifics flow their blue+red=purple path as each sentence is written. Everything naturally falls into place, and you’re tasked with the minimal effort of showing up.

We will then turn to their term of “Planner.”

An underpaid, overworked employee that takes endless shit and abuse, while trying to organize work for thankless assholes that don’t want to do the work in the first place.

(Okay, that did not turn out so well but I found it hugely entertaining. Dear Urban Dictionary, you slay me.)

We could try the other famous terminology of “Plotter.”

A person who plots.
A person who plots on a regular basis.
A person who has indeed plotted before.
A person who is currently plotting.

Now we are getting a little closer.

#WTF am I talking about? Let me not digress, I believed I was a “Pantser,” and at the time the thought was liberating. I belonged to TYPE 1 or TYPE 2 of writing academia.

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Reality-

I was a fish out of water in the endless sea of my scribbles

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Word vomit, my chosen mastered skill. After all, I have no problems sitting down and typing the whole of the live-long day. These voices inside keep me well entertained, and a gazillion thoughts and storylines fill me. I write well and say nothing at the same time.

Cue “Taps.”

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Advice often speaks that writing takes years to develop, the understanding of craft, your individual voice, definition. I have 4 works finished, but not finished. And one day something resonated—zapping my staggering mass, “Aha!”

Cue prayers for this person. (not literally me)

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We have to be neither. All is for not if we don’t have THE master plan, and not the one we originally imagined, but a working, real, tangible guide that will guarantee results if indeed this is what we are after.

Hello, my friend Mr. Larry Brooks and his friend Mr. Art Holcomb. You both may have just saved my writing life. No longer shall I make more difficult what is already half way there. Thank you for this post. (Every writer MUST read, honestly, the ultimate in time well spent.)

When I see you in Starbucks I look forward to giving you my answer.

http://storyfix.com/tragedy-see-starbucks-every-day-new-post-art-holcomb

And I Write On-<3 Jess

PS…have I ever mentioned I would find great satisfaction in being re-blogged by Chris the story reading ape? (A 2017 resolution of mine) Another great writer’s resource blog!

Let’s talk #Serious

Insecure Writers Support Group Badge

Can this day, seriously, be the first Wednesday of the month? The very first day of June just happens to fall on a Wednesday? Well, of course, the answer is yes, and good motivation for me to hut one, hut two, get it into gear and get moving!

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 (I couldn’t resist. I’m not a fan of ‘said’ above team, go ahead, hate. I am prepared.)

The real topic, not football, I would like to talk about is our feelings? How do you feel about author New Release posts? Yes, the possibly annoying feed we receive when our WordPress Author friends have recently unveiled a new title in their bookshelf or a recent accomplishment. Are you happy, mad, irritated? Truthfully, do your eyes squint, get misty or grow red? Does a sad little smile quiver on your lips, filled with best wishes but reminding you of your-not quite yets? Does your chest clench or are those your fists under that desk? Now, hear the voice of your favorite evil character …

“Look into my eyes, child, and tell me how you really feel?”

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I am doing honest research.

As I sit and watch the hundreds of feeds over the past year and a half, those particular articles don’t seem the most successful? Am I right? Many author pages just hang, blank. I see millions of hours put into these posts, yet, reception seems a bit cold. Or is that the Artic wind blowin’ round here…if you get what I mean?

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The task of building an author’s platform is daunting. Understanding and knowing that the largest piece of marketing, your awesome self, is well, up to you. Recognizing there are no other options, eventually, mustering the courage, and, while at first joyful and exhilarating, the mission is gosh-darned difficult! (Since we are being honest in this essay, I will tell you I really wanted to use profanity in that last sentence, but my granddaughter is working at her desk next to me. And of course, I read everything out loud.)

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Let’s see you upset this sweet lil’ tattle-tale, she’s daring you.

Okay, back on subject…

Why is that?

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Since we all GET IT why are we not ultra supportive? Reading, leaving reviews? Everything we would hope our peeps would, in return, do for us? Just curious, putting it out there to ponder. I see the cliques work together, the friend of a friend’s friend, but even their shout outs are quite lackluster. Is that not our thing? As bloggers? No cliquishness? Just asking…

As a word freak, I will say in blatant unwavering tongues that if I see another article on the proper usage of present and past tenses I will jab this crazy sharp pencil, with a definite attitude, into my eye.

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No, I really won’t, but jeez whiz, I’d rather go eat…

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Enough is Enough…I know you feel my point. (It just happens…)

Oh’ goodness, wait! The last tidbit before I bore you any longer is the ‘donation’ thing…would you rather see a tip jar? I really am curious how you feel about these, too? I’d personally rather buy a book, a tangible. No? Are we not all working our hardest to earn a living? What am I tipping you for? Did you serve me up some new regurgitated advice with a side of whizziness?

It’s time to end this…Authors, Writers, Poets, and Dear Friends keep fighting the good fight, your work is valuable, I appreciate everything you have done and how hard you are working at a job that sometimes feels…well, hopeless, but don’t give in! You know the lyrics…”Let it snow, let it snow…” Elsa take it away GIRL!

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Write On! ❤ Jessica

Oh’ Gravatar how I 💛 you!!

It is true, less than a year ago I would have had no idea what a Gravatar was. Let alone a Avatar, Blavatar or any of their little friends, and yes, I would have likened them to a movie.  Like, what?  Dear friends…there is a difference.

What Is Gravatar?

Thank you most awesome – gravatar.com

An “avatar” is an image that represents you online—a little picture that appears next to your name when you interact with websites.

A Gravatar is a Globally Recognized Avatar. You upload it and create your profile just once, and then when you participate in any Gravatar-enabled site, your Gravatar image will automatically follow you there.

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These impressions are a caricature of ourselves available on the internet, whatever we may want that to be, a personal depiction of who we are; anything from our high-school graduation photo ( ha-ha ), stick men, emoticons/emojis, animal or flower pictures, to the quilt-like patterns when you have yet to truly identify yourself as an online entity created by WordPress.  And these companies have made it so easy for us to set up.

I would not understand the power of this earth shattering presence until I recently went to a writers conference.  Upon entering the event, I was approached by one of the presenters, and I waltzed up to this peer, hand outstretched, as though I had known them since 1st grade.  Why? because I felt like I knew them already from that minuscule picture that I see daily when I visit any or all of their sites.  Fear not, I stopped myself before wrapping them into a hug.  It was Instant Recognition.

Good or Bad?  I say, Awesome!  We may never be on the big screen, Soap Opera’s Digest, Us Weekly or want to be, but if we can be recognized simply by a likeness for the work we diligently put out there in the great blue yonder, how amazing is that!

I don’t even think I would recognize my next door neighbor at the grocery store.

But this becomes our online business card, realtors are not the only people deserving of such recognition.  Now I hate to say – if we use our pet’s picture or that of our grand-child it would not have the same effect, so a very important fact would be to use an updated portrayal if this is our intent.  For me, this doesn’t apply, because I look the same as I did in high-school. ( Joke, my Good People ) I simply cannot get rid of my eighties hair do.

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The power of presence, our digital imprint, the making of our personal brand!  Bam!  Gravatar!

Write on!  ❤️ Jessica!