FEAR (continued)

What do we do about fear? The most important question to ask ourselves is how likely is this event going to happen to me and/or my loved ones? Is there something I can do to protect us? In many instances we can. September is emergency planning month. Numerous websites are available for learning what we would need to have or do. Keep your pack close to your front door or in your car(s). If you have more than one vehicle, plan for each one. One hint I learned several years ago is have a pair of walking shoes for each family member stashed in the trunk. (Never would have thought about it.)

But I am not writing this blog to exalt preparations for a major event, although I encourage us all to give this our attention. Being ready with a plan to leave your home could save your lives.

But what about the daily fears that mess with attention, energy, and create mind clutter? I was inspired to address fear from a book written by Tim Storey in Comeback Beyond. Fear has become a way of life for many. Not that we cannot find many reasons to have fear, but trepidations may not be warranted.

Storey’s advice calms the fear monster. Yes, many are distressed about the upcoming presidential election and the outcome. Yes, losing one’s employment requires action, but preparing for the possibility by taking action updating resumes, lowering unneeded purchases, and saving for a cushion are being proactive. The FEAR can be shelved as fear, (small fear.)Storey advises, “Have a comeback plan.” Then let it go.

Fear can become habitual—over anything and everything. Our unreasonable/statistically unlikely fears, steal our day to day lives and keep us from moving peacefully ahead.

Storey defines FEAR as False Evidence Appearing Real. Thank you, Tim. Let’s reign in the fear habit and live our lives as New Yorkers do. Step up and step out!







The destruction of the World Trade Center, officers killing unarmed people, school shootings, bombs detonating on streets, going to any public place are reasons many of us fear leaving our homes. Even in the perceived safety there, the possibility of a plane diving into our living room or thugs breaking in uninvited is a sodden blanket over our lives. Yup. Reasons for living in fear are out there, especially when we dwell on them.

Think about this: after 9-11 New York City rebounded through mourning the dead, praying for the injured, and families with unstable futures. Americans are rebound people. Many cities in the US and other countries sent groups of people to give support to the city. Yet none of the security changes or monuments has changed the horror of persons with an violent agenda. Yet Americans move forward regardless.

In Torn Apart, characters Musa and Ferenc had viable reasons to fear. Their lives had been yanked from the stability of being well-respected professionals. They knew friends could not be depended upon to harbor them or help their escapes. The Russians were making their presence known near their beloved city of Budapest. The frazzled Germans are not making strong headway to save them. It’s time to leave. Their fear was warranted by their reality.

Fear continued tomorrow.

Happy September 7th, 2016

Insecure Writers Support Group Badge

On this first Wednesday of the month! Thank you, guru, Alex Cavanaugh!

This day commiserates a multitude of milestones for me. Two years ago, almost to the day, I left my career to settle into a brutally agonizing field called writing. A satisfying and desolate place where I have met my dearest friends, you!

First, I would like to apologize for missing last month’s post.


What was it that kept me away? Of course, I’m going to tell you. I signed up for a writing class called publish your non-fiction e-book in 10 days. The no shits and giggles guide to get off your ass and get a writing project done.

No excuse style!

With a brilliant writing coach, named Jennifer Blanchard, who proves in a systematic method the process of writing, editing and publishing such a UMC, unidentified-mysterious-creature, otherwise known as a finished book, most assuredly can be completed and done so, satisfactory.


The experience was fantastic. Yet, with every writer high, occasionally, (for me-always,) comes a rock-bottom low. And while I lay wallowing in the depths of my self-imposed mire, a needed realization finally hit home. A projection that before was only half tapped.


I always believed if I was a good person people would be good to me, the reality, not so much. I always believed if I were truthful, kind and sincere the inhabitants of the human world would do so likewise, pretty major disappointment. If I showed support, I would receive support. If I left feedback, I would get feedback. If I smiled, the gesture would be returned. I always believed that what I gave in this lifetime I would get back, tenfold would be an even worse joke. I promise you I did not go that far.


Instead, this mindset was a major posit for failure. When the world would crash the dejection became internalized and the belief turned into it must be me. If you, too, are an alien being, you don’t know how to take a compliment when one is graciously given, closing yourself off. In steeling myself from repeated pains, the stone wall I erected truthfully kept me from receiving, anything, including everything satisfactory and good.

This horrible addiction and repeated habit took Sandi several years to break me. The simple act of crossing my arms deflected any kind words given or shown toward me as though I was undeserving. But there is more, the pattern of negative self-abuse prevents you from your given gifts of abundance that life waits to bestow upon you.


I always knew I had a devastating level of high expectations. One by one I learned to let a few of them go. Expectations must fully be replaced with intention. By doing this, the manifestation is yours alone and not one outside force can interfere with the mindset you have set forth. I knew I was getting close, but this hurdle I had yet to knock over.

A realm where one cannot jump into half-cocked. Positive was who I have always been, there were no problems there. But accepting that I deserved abundance was another thing, freeing my mind of what I once believed would set this forward motion and intent free.


The act of completing a project within a confined time frame leaves no room for those self-doubting negative monsters from the otherworld to play with your gullible hide. You just do and while you feel the fangs of frustration breathing on your neck you continue and before you realize the end goal is done and you can exhale.


I fooled me into thinking that because I was working with like-agenda creatures we would all be supporting each other in a similar fashion. Full throttle forward and bestowing handshakes, five-star reviews, and praise. You tell me the outcome? Another crushing let-down. Why? Again, I placed MY reward into someone else’s hands. A very dangerous thing.

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But the message finally came in loud & clear.


I have always known there is a higher purpose for me. I am not going away. I will work in a constant fashion to be better than the day before. Guidance, knowledge, health, wealth and happiness will come naturally. (Again able-minded, willing to see our individual accountabilities and open our western minds to receive.)

I am there and ready to fully absorb this abundance that solely belongs to me. The difference now and the most beautiful thing is-I care, you matter, and, I have a need to share. I refuse to die until I have done something for humanity.

My deceased father’s birthday gift, today, his day, now in his honor has become mine.


Write on! ❤ Jessica

 P.S-If you’d like a peak into the life of a gender X  click here

P.S.S-If you’re open-minded and would like a true-life look into retail listen here

Need a Laugh?

If you have ever worked for the public—as a food server, a store clerk, or a person behind a counter providing a smile and assistance for people who neglect to respect you and might give you a rotten time, a great book has come on the scene by Jess E. I would recommend  it highly for saying exactly what you thought and couldn’t say outloud for fear of losing your job.

Jess E remains anonymous to protect his identity and “tell it like it is!” I laughed out loud as did my husband.

Some of you might recognise yourself in customer interactions, Oops. If you are demanding of perfection from sellers or service providers, it might not be as pleasant to read as it will be for the rest of us who have walked in Jess E’s shoes.

Putting the shoe on the other foot might do you, your son, your daughter, your spouse a lesson in how to treat others.  I wished I had had this booklet lying around when I was still working. Super gift for the lunch room!

Check it out on Amazon.

Thanks for following,