Dear Self….get your #^! SH*t together

Ummmmm…where has American Writers Exposed Gone?

Because I surely do not know…

It’s possible I do, so let us see if we can unearth this unkempt void to the beginning. 

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What the triple heck? As surely as eating better, my quest to post articles in a regular, meaningful fashion became lost. Sandi has been long on tour and I languishing on holiday in the cavernous recesses of Mt. Blockheadiness. A dismal vacation I promise.

Excuses are poor and so I shan’t give one.

Let’s talk.

My three year do or die clock has struck. 

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The window I gave myself to make my writing gig happen or pack up. 

There was a time I believed I never procrastinated. My littles complained I stuffed way too many stops into a single trip to town. In this day, I find it hard to prepare for a 3 o’clock appointment. My wonder woman invisible mountain blocks my way.

I mean I have to wake up, which could turn into a 2-hour event. There is showering involved, some primping and whining no doubt. My bed is never made so I don’t have to worry about that, but looking in the closet, the dresser drawers? Yikes, pressure begins to build.

So where in the life of lives of mine does my writing fit? I have acclimated into this clinging seaweed monster of advanced stall tactics smack dab in the middle of living my authorly dreams.

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(This is very close to me but you must add a spin, plus another…circling in the same spot.) Annoying, I know.

Over the past 6 months, I have hooked up with some great people. A phenomenal person. A clever-witted brilliant individual with vision, excitement, and knowledge to catapult me into the penman atmosphere of global literary enlightenment. Like POW, where have you been my whole life?

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And what have I done?

Froze. Deer in headlights, the whole gambit. I have no shame to admit such. What is my issue, fear? Didn’t I give that up the 1st time I submitted anything? posted on the internet? stepped forward and admitted I write romance? 

I’m doing everything I said I’d never do like a middle-aged driving disaster going 35 on the interstate and not in the right lane with hazard lights, but to the left. My personal blog and AWE have been left unattended. Don’t you like that acronym, AWE? See I’m doing it again. 

Deep down I understand my fear. When I started, I believed the hype I’d been told. Never did I dream I’d have more downs than ups. Couldn’t imagine the lack of support I’d receive from my community of related personage. Or realized my ability to be impetuously drawn into non-factorly tasks.

What a load.

So I ask the greatest community of wordsmiths in every stage of their multiple WIPs to send this block of dirt a surge of well wishes to “get er’ done!” (I hate that quote too!) Like, tomorrow, or if I’m seriously serious, today.

 

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Write On ❤ Jess!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dumped, Dumpee, Duped? Call it what you will…

Relationships…who needs em?

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Yet, we all do right?

If you are not of the A variety you usually fall into the B category, dumper, duper…sleazebag. Fear not, there is the beauty of karma, irony & fate.

Are these common situations any different in the universe of Writing?

The idea behind American Writers was to expose the underbelly of the journey, our trials, our frustrations, our moments of complete failure, scratches, and occasional success. Instead of being amongst the slew of Writers who claim to be Writers and know everything about Writing …so very much more (yes, I used-so, very & much) than the other 3 gazillion and 4 Writers  (no supporting research data) in the world of Writerdom.

Jeesh, Sally calm down. Not only do I hear you, I feel you sister, but 1st let me bow.

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So what’s the deal with critique groups? Either they are of a higher echelon that you are unworthy of attending or members suck what they can until the group no longer serves their purpose and move on. To where? I believe we still inhabit the same plot structure.

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Ummm, really?

The greatest advice is “be your own cheerleader,” because we have to, yet, there are those few who fall victim to their own great marketing strategies. Even the humble play at being humble to get continued positive strokes. Yikes…

The brilliance of the “CG” situation is enlightening. We all falsely believe WE are the better Writer. And, being amongst the ton is helpful. We are different people, voices, and points of view. Each lends a hand in improving each other in whichever state we find our current WIP. Work in progress, use your words, acronyms don’t make you sound smarter and it’s freaking annoying.

Is there a graceful way to ditch a peer group and move on? Without using flowery bullshit that grownups can decipher? And exactly what is being said to those left behind? I rock, you suck, later dudes.

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We can see you, we have this thing called the internet.

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Brilliant, NOT mine, #FML

Twenty-eight months ago I began the quest for my personal holy grail. I’ve met great people, industry professionals, received the worst advice given to mankind (that I inhaled) and spent thousands of dollars as every other would-be, wanna-be Writing genius. I have a collection of 4 blogs, 2 of which believe I am dead, too many social media accounts to keep up with and am the proud owner of multiple pen names. I have walked away from critique groups and, recently, have been walked out on.

Bound to happen, right?

The decerning piece is when I give my word to writers who have asked something if me, I follow through to the best of my ability and while I don’t have the whole shit and caboodle figured out, I will.

Only the best-Truly-Sour grapes and all

Write On-<3 Jess

Happy September 7th, 2016

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On this first Wednesday of the month! Thank you, guru, Alex Cavanaugh!

This day commiserates a multitude of milestones for me. Two years ago, almost to the day, I left my career to settle into a brutally agonizing field called writing. A satisfying and desolate place where I have met my dearest friends, you!

First, I would like to apologize for missing last month’s post.

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What was it that kept me away? Of course, I’m going to tell you. I signed up for a writing class called publish your non-fiction e-book in 10 days. The no shits and giggles guide to get off your ass and get a writing project done.

No excuse style!

With a brilliant writing coach, named Jennifer Blanchard, who proves in a systematic method the process of writing, editing and publishing such a UMC, unidentified-mysterious-creature, otherwise known as a finished book, most assuredly can be completed and done so, satisfactory.

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The experience was fantastic. Yet, with every writer high, occasionally, (for me-always,) comes a rock-bottom low. And while I lay wallowing in the depths of my self-imposed mire, a needed realization finally hit home. A projection that before was only half tapped.

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I always believed if I was a good person people would be good to me, the reality, not so much. I always believed if I were truthful, kind and sincere the inhabitants of the human world would do so likewise, pretty major disappointment. If I showed support, I would receive support. If I left feedback, I would get feedback. If I smiled, the gesture would be returned. I always believed that what I gave in this lifetime I would get back, tenfold would be an even worse joke. I promise you I did not go that far.

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Instead, this mindset was a major posit for failure. When the world would crash the dejection became internalized and the belief turned into it must be me. If you, too, are an alien being, you don’t know how to take a compliment when one is graciously given, closing yourself off. In steeling myself from repeated pains, the stone wall I erected truthfully kept me from receiving, anything, including everything satisfactory and good.

This horrible addiction and repeated habit took Sandi several years to break me. The simple act of crossing my arms deflected any kind words given or shown toward me as though I was undeserving. But there is more, the pattern of negative self-abuse prevents you from your given gifts of abundance that life waits to bestow upon you.

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I always knew I had a devastating level of high expectations. One by one I learned to let a few of them go. Expectations must fully be replaced with intention. By doing this, the manifestation is yours alone and not one outside force can interfere with the mindset you have set forth. I knew I was getting close, but this hurdle I had yet to knock over.

A realm where one cannot jump into half-cocked. Positive was who I have always been, there were no problems there. But accepting that I deserved abundance was another thing, freeing my mind of what I once believed would set this forward motion and intent free.

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The act of completing a project within a confined time frame leaves no room for those self-doubting negative monsters from the otherworld to play with your gullible hide. You just do and while you feel the fangs of frustration breathing on your neck you continue and before you realize the end goal is done and you can exhale.

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I fooled me into thinking that because I was working with like-agenda creatures we would all be supporting each other in a similar fashion. Full throttle forward and bestowing handshakes, five-star reviews, and praise. You tell me the outcome? Another crushing let-down. Why? Again, I placed MY reward into someone else’s hands. A very dangerous thing.

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But the message finally came in loud & clear.

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I have always known there is a higher purpose for me. I am not going away. I will work in a constant fashion to be better than the day before. Guidance, knowledge, health, wealth and happiness will come naturally. (Again able-minded, willing to see our individual accountabilities and open our western minds to receive.)

I am there and ready to fully absorb this abundance that solely belongs to me. The difference now and the most beautiful thing is-I care, you matter, and, I have a need to share. I refuse to die until I have done something for humanity.

My deceased father’s birthday gift, today, his day, now in his honor has become mine.

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Write on! ❤ Jessica

 P.S-If you’d like a peak into the life of a gender X  click here

P.S.S-If you’re open-minded and would like a true-life look into retail listen here

Let’s talk #Serious

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Can this day, seriously, be the first Wednesday of the month? The very first day of June just happens to fall on a Wednesday? Well, of course, the answer is yes, and good motivation for me to hut one, hut two, get it into gear and get moving!

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 (I couldn’t resist. I’m not a fan of ‘said’ above team, go ahead, hate. I am prepared.)

The real topic, not football, I would like to talk about is our feelings? How do you feel about author New Release posts? Yes, the possibly annoying feed we receive when our WordPress Author friends have recently unveiled a new title in their bookshelf or a recent accomplishment. Are you happy, mad, irritated? Truthfully, do your eyes squint, get misty or grow red? Does a sad little smile quiver on your lips, filled with best wishes but reminding you of your-not quite yets? Does your chest clench or are those your fists under that desk? Now, hear the voice of your favorite evil character …

“Look into my eyes, child, and tell me how you really feel?”

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I am doing honest research.

As I sit and watch the hundreds of feeds over the past year and a half, those particular articles don’t seem the most successful? Am I right? Many author pages just hang, blank. I see millions of hours put into these posts, yet, reception seems a bit cold. Or is that the Artic wind blowin’ round here…if you get what I mean?

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The task of building an author’s platform is daunting. Understanding and knowing that the largest piece of marketing, your awesome self, is well, up to you. Recognizing there are no other options, eventually, mustering the courage, and, while at first joyful and exhilarating, the mission is gosh-darned difficult! (Since we are being honest in this essay, I will tell you I really wanted to use profanity in that last sentence, but my granddaughter is working at her desk next to me. And of course, I read everything out loud.)

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Let’s see you upset this sweet lil’ tattle-tale, she’s daring you.

Okay, back on subject…

Why is that?

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Since we all GET IT why are we not ultra supportive? Reading, leaving reviews? Everything we would hope our peeps would, in return, do for us? Just curious, putting it out there to ponder. I see the cliques work together, the friend of a friend’s friend, but even their shout outs are quite lackluster. Is that not our thing? As bloggers? No cliquishness? Just asking…

As a word freak, I will say in blatant unwavering tongues that if I see another article on the proper usage of present and past tenses I will jab this crazy sharp pencil, with a definite attitude, into my eye.

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No, I really won’t, but jeez whiz, I’d rather go eat…

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Enough is Enough…I know you feel my point. (It just happens…)

Oh’ goodness, wait! The last tidbit before I bore you any longer is the ‘donation’ thing…would you rather see a tip jar? I really am curious how you feel about these, too? I’d personally rather buy a book, a tangible. No? Are we not all working our hardest to earn a living? What am I tipping you for? Did you serve me up some new regurgitated advice with a side of whizziness?

It’s time to end this…Authors, Writers, Poets, and Dear Friends keep fighting the good fight, your work is valuable, I appreciate everything you have done and how hard you are working at a job that sometimes feels…well, hopeless, but don’t give in! You know the lyrics…”Let it snow, let it snow…” Elsa take it away GIRL!

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Write On! ❤ Jessica