Pleased to meet you…

* hope you guess my name *

I bet you’re curious how my FebYo’WriMo group went?

Fantastically awry and disgustingly amaze in one single nutshell of immense Mr. Peanut proportions. What else would you expect of me? The group continues as a safe haven for writers who seek to post something, anything without the judgment of, let me see…the world.

I’m going to give myself that one. We don’t beat ourselves in the face with frying pans anymore, remember?

Let me check w/ Insecure Writer’s Group Question of the month…oops looks like FebYo’ary is still up so I’m going rogue. Afterall, I’m writing this post almost a week in advance. Shocker! I’m thinking we may need to develop a Tortured Souls team…who loves the punishment! cue cymbals…

So…if you’re thinking about creating an epic group of social media fame on Facebook take it from the monarch of leaden feet, there are a few things you might like to know. 

#1 There are no invitations.

When you click add members, it lists the followers of your page whether they’d like to chill and drink a cappuccino with you on the coldest day of FebYo’ary without any freaking shoes or smear your endearing puss into the inkwells of self-loathing and despair. #sorry?

#2 Prepare to make apologies if you don’t follow #1!

I am used to making a quasi-triumphant backward mess of my great intentions, you, my good friend may not. Accidentally adding your peers to a list when you assume, yes, this applies here, (ass of u & me} they are in agreement is not a pleasant form of dog poo-poo in the face.

#3 Seek the advice of those who’ve gone before you.

Ummmm, croaking frogs, resembling a writer-this one, filled with crazy possibility and a bubble of vomit refusing to be swallowed. I didn’t ask anyone. I trustfully flung my body backward and am now wearing a full-body-cast of those who love me anyway.

#4 Wear 2018 Olympic verified knee-pads.

If the cues of #1 & #2 don’t slow the thrum of excitement in this fantastic idea you’ve developed…invest in yourself. Yes, you are worth it, and, at least, your aging knee-caps will be forever thankful when you go ‘a groveling.’

#5 Keep to the basics??

FB is a peculiar place. I believe the idea grand, and stupendously (adverbs were created to be abused), perplexing.

I’ve three profiles, the first produced in the fantastical errors of moi while developing my online presence as an author. Fresh from my first writer’s conference in a hasty fashion and void of other clues. 

The second, a correction of the first. 

The third to help promote my life work #SendSunshine (that social media, Instagram/Etsy, recently helped be discovered & showcased here…. rawartists.org/sendsunshine  If unable to attend event PLEASE purchase a ticket & support #IndieArtists like you and me.)

So….let’s transgress, a habit I diverge most often.

Identity #1 should be my personal page where, instead, I invited everyone my location suggested, their bathroom toilets and those who wished to never look at my precious-mug again. Every follower is organic, because, people, these beautiful organisms of never-ending judgments are waiting for spilled waste. I refuse to post a daily transcribe of why my laundry gets folded in starched unwrinkled triangles or the successes of my non-blemished straight A children, what a horrible standard, facebook fame? But, if I want to see any updates on relatives, this is where I’ll find it and their latest school pictures?? Sad, don’t you think? 

ID #2 the real deal…the single identity I should have started in the beginning, but believed I needed a page and couldn’t create without #1. 

Quit? Nose-dive off the moon? Beserkers NO! When you’re in this deep, you keep going. Don’t you?

Here I hang with my other insecure writer friends, as desperate to be seen as me. And some TRUE writing kings & queens, whom, in the most recent month, I may have lovingly splattered a dab of piddle on their bared shin. My trees. The ones I aspire and apologize for my continued ignorance of how this social media nightmare, namely FB, works.

Confession-I recently absconded the title “Aspiring Novelist” from another fantastic novelist of soon to be acclaimed fame. Love you Steph! And in this month of heralded flubs a re-discovered best friend.

Find the silver lining in all things you are passionate. I’m not afraid of transparency, I’m scared shitless of not taking the opportunity for fabulous to be found.

Write On! ❤ Jess

 

PS-If you are serious, really serious about developing the craft of writing and don’t already know everything (because, seriously, it’s highly possible you really-don’t) … These are the names you need to investigate, know, breathe, and to whom I apologize for my faux pas must humbly. I am a sincere doll of fumbling fabulosity, right?

Larry Brooks

Kristen Lamb

Cait Reynolds

Raidon Pheonix

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was kidding, I swear, but then…

Why not create a group? am I the only Non-NaNoWriMo fulfiller out there?

What a concept, no nagging, just writers, dabblers, penners of varied states trying to get their act together in a communal environment, passing a virtual high-five back and forth.

No self-promotion. No writing advice. No superior attitudes. 

Because I have nothing better to do than perfect the art of procrastination, boom, it’s done. And currently, there are 2 members of my group me and moi. 🙂

Join here, right here, right now- 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/287548135103603 …ouch, did I say no pressure.

I’d love to just chill and make writing fun again without the pounding chatter of well-meaning doers of self-acclaimed fame. But cheers to those who have accomplished these feats, assured! I, personally, seem to find myself in a fetal position while living my bliss.

So gather one, gather all, real folk with writing goals big or small, even journaling or habitually making diary entries, no novel needed, who are looking for relaxed support, nothing more, nothing less join this amazing feat and event. I look forward to your holding my hand.

WE can use gifs if we don’t feel the need to talk, like recess for writers…

or something similiar…reminding ourselves we need to take breaks, hah! 

Write On! ❤ Jess

P.S…

in case you missed my social experiment link

https://www.facebook.com/groups/287548135103603

P.S.S-Hey, Chris the Story Reading Ape do you have a Facebook group or page?

the could’ves, would’ves, & should’ves…

...A top 10 for the year known as -whispering- 2017...
(I get it, like, so...eleven days ago.)

#1- Posted for #IWSG on the required 1st Wednesday of every month.

Details…details… Not much to ask, right?

Following said instruction with the included advice from my very well-meaning, makes me smile because her brain stem tingles at a rate faster than mine, baby sister, “You can schedule those…” Yeah, thanks. And, she is right. And, because self-deprecation is something I no longer indulge, inhale or include in my personal evaluations, my response is, “Brilliant.”

#2- I could’ve, would’ve, should’ve answered the damn questions in the monthly writing prompt.

Questions? Yes, it’s that easy.

As usual, I have a way of veering in a direction less traveled and impressively farthest from any ones cares. My rantings surely touch home base with my doppelganger, wherever she, or he, may reside and what a curious thought, do these strangely familiar individuals act like you or simply possess your devastatingly impressive looks?  (Note to self: too freaky to research further.) 

#3- Splurged in the wealth of information and sane advice from other Insecure Writers Group members.

Why haven’t I?

This is the real question, but one I shall relish in remedying. The site is filled with valuable, relatable, inspiring articles. If I reached out to Insecure Writers creator, Alex Cavanaugh or his helpers, without hesitation, they respond. It’s true, he has talked to me before. (An event in comments I am sure he remembers.) Also, a quality only occasionally found within these fickle writer-type creatures, well-intentioned, but most-times distracted.

The fresh theme at IWSG begs you to dive into the library and, do what? begin…unabashed, belly-flop back flat with no hesitation or fears. The Write Life for year #dos has listed #IWSG as one of its 2018 top 100 websites for writers, sectioned under Writing Communities. Bravo team! Hu, hu, huzza!

#4- I could’ve, would’ve, should’ve made time for me in whatever crazy spaces I inhabited.

Poof! Recently zapped by an acquired Hogwart’s magic wand, I remember what I’ve always known. Time is elusive and not guaranteed. Whenever feeling the need to justify my situation, instead use solutions, like, this phone has notes & a voice recorder!

I will, going forward, utilize commuting and wait times wherever this life finds me. I am sure there are a million other squandered opportunities my wayward identical twin or inspired sister will unearth in a blaring beacon of light further awakening my dragon, who now, by the way, works for me.

My eyes, my eyes, these, I need ‘computer reading glasses’ tired, inflamed eyes will embrace most assured.

#5- Shown NO fear of splashing, zinging, singing.

La, la la…

Why not? be gallant in…everything, especially life’s missteps.

4 the #LOVE of #Books #Eshow #Jessica’s #Children’s #Book #Christmas #Bash

Join me as I host an exclusive party!

Just tap the photo or these magic words & be transported to the greatest children’s book fair on earth!!

12-1-17 / 12-5-17

Just call me #Guinea – #Pig if your NaNoWriMo’ing

…my mascot is throwing down to Janet Jackson’s, “Nasty”…

There is a new heart-breaker in my world and her name is Cait Reynolds. She is an mucho-fab-lady and liaison. While I hold her in high esteem, I am afraid I still dive head-first at break-neck speeds into the #ultra #newbie category of hip and happening #AmWriting kind of peeples, deemed guinea pig and proud to wear the badge. Through her careful, non-shaming coaching and “F yeah” attitude she has taken this top-grade A #panster and shown her the light of what being a #planner is all about, or at least a fledgling dot in the outlining a novel hemisphere.

& this being the reason it is sooo important

Writing, something, isn’t the issue, but focus, laser vision, a definitive instruction sheet instead of the over-active brain stem instability I am most known for and I don’t think I am alone. Hey, but I don’t mind being on the island, believe you me. The great thing, like most manuals, is you don’t even have to follow the darn thing to a T, but use the pre-work as a guideline…(when completed it cleans up into a tight synopsis, boo ya’)

No more getting bogged down in the 30,000 word quagmire.

Here in lies the real work, for me, I whined and whimpered a bit, but my hissy-fit was a lonely dramatization for one. I doodled and assigned actors in my leading roles, classic procrastination. I was tasked with the challenge of saying NO to inking chapter 1 until I’d written the “story before the story” (see caitreynolds.com) and how my main characters interacted with each other.

If I wanted to be a part of N.A.N.O. , and she’s so stealth I’d no idea I’d be attending, I needed to honor my story-line with a sense of understanding or I’d be doing myself and my fresh “twinkle in the eye” a horrible dis-service.

W.A.N.A. International offers a variety of educational, fun and affordable classes for everyone with a slew of talented instructors.

And the great news is…I completed my challenge. Not until the final hours, because why would I ever do anything without a flair for the over-dramatic, and not without concern I’d have to start my attempt at outlining again, but I did it! 

I get to begin the real chapter 1, my golden cherry, tomorrow with a gazillion other “I think I can” writers of the world.

We will see how this new guinea progresses in the most magical month of November, but freak out I won’t. I did that already, gosh. 

In my short, 321,562 word, but whose counting? tenure I have found an incredibly fabulous group of writers, non-condescending, albeit at times cricket-like, among the W.A.N.A. nation

and their esteemed super-warrior founder/queen Kristen Lamb, who in turn led me to Cait, not because Cait needed my kind of vanilla, but because Kristen cared enough. These two are, in my mind, the greatest love affair or ice cream combination of all time. 

Now I beg all my #IWSG friends not to get in a Lizzy-kind of-tizzy over such a statement, as both groups offer support in ways I am honored to be affiliated with and writers need writers who care, remembering how the streets were paved back in their “I think I want to be a writer” days. 

November 1 question – Win or not, do you usually finish your NaNo project? Have any of them gone on to be published?

Well, I can dream, right? 

Write On! ❤ Jess

 

 

 

 

Dear Self….get your #^! SH*t together

Ummmmm…where has American Writers Exposed Gone?

Because I surely do not know…

It’s possible I do, so let us see if we can unearth this unkempt void to the beginning. 

What the triple heck? As surely as eating better, my quest to post articles in a regular, meaningful fashion became lost. Sandi has been long on tour and I languishing on holiday in the cavernous recesses of Mt. Blockheadiness. A dismal vacation I promise.

Excuses are poor and so I shan’t give one.

Let’s talk.

My three year do or die clock has struck. 

The window I gave myself to make my writing gig happen or pack up. 

There was a time I believed I never procrastinated. My littles complained I stuffed way too many stops into a single trip to town. In this day, I find it hard to prepare for a 3 o’clock appointment. My wonder woman invisible mountain blocks my way.

I mean I have to wake up, which could turn into a 2-hour event. There is showering involved, some primping and whining no doubt. My bed is never made so I don’t have to worry about that, but looking in the closet, the dresser drawers? Yikes, pressure begins to build.

So where in the life of lives of mine does my writing fit? I have acclimated into this clinging seaweed monster of advanced stall tactics smack dab in the middle of living my authorly dreams.

(This is very close to me but you must add a spin, plus another…circling in the same spot.) Annoying, I know.

Over the past 6 months, I have hooked up with some great people. A phenomenal person. A clever-witted brilliant individual with vision, excitement, and knowledge to catapult me into the penman atmosphere of global literary enlightenment. Like POW, where have you been my whole life?

And what have I done?

Froze. Deer in headlights, the whole gambit. I have no shame to admit such. What is my issue, fear? Didn’t I give that up the 1st time I submitted anything? posted on the internet? stepped forward and admitted I write romance? 

I’m doing everything I said I’d never do like a middle-aged driving disaster going 35 on the interstate and not in the right lane with hazard lights, but to the left. My personal blog and AWE have been left unattended. Don’t you like that acronym, AWE? See I’m doing it again. 

Deep down I understand my fear. When I started, I believed the hype I’d been told. Never did I dream I’d have more downs than ups. Couldn’t imagine the lack of support I’d receive from my community of related personage. Or realized my ability to be impetuously drawn into non-factorly tasks.

What a load.

So I ask the greatest community of wordsmiths in every stage of their multiple WIPs to send this block of dirt a surge of well wishes to “get er’ done!” (I hate that quote too!) Like, tomorrow, or if I’m seriously serious, today.

 

Write On ❤ Jess!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My newest girl-crush! Can’t wait to attend Cait’s classes! Join me!

My re-blogger is broken…merde!

The Coup, Day 2: Historical Research for Fiction

#CGGC a.k.a Critique Group God Complex

Never heard of it? Yeah, neither had I, but I’ve met a few, so I made one up, lol! We know some are suffering….

All in love and good fun, Write On! ❤ Jess

Dumped, Dumpee, Duped? Call it what you will…

Relationships…who needs em?

Yet, we all do right?

If you are not of the A variety you usually fall into the B category, dumper, duper…sleazebag. Fear not, there is the beauty of karma, irony & fate.

Are these common situations any different in the universe of Writing?

The idea behind American Writers was to expose the underbelly of the journey, our trials, our frustrations, our moments of complete failure, scratches, and occasional success. Instead of being amongst the slew of Writers who claim to be Writers and know everything about Writing …so very much more (yes, I used-so, very & much) than the other 3 gazillion and 4 Writers  (no supporting research data) in the world of Writerdom.

Jeesh, Sally calm down. Not only do I hear you, I feel you sister, but 1st let me bow.

So what’s the deal with critique groups? Either they are of a higher echelon that you are unworthy of attending or members suck what they can until the group no longer serves their purpose and move on. To where? I believe we still inhabit the same plot structure.

Ummm, really?

The greatest advice is “be your own cheerleader,” because we have to, yet, there are those few who fall victim to their own great marketing strategies. Even the humble play at being humble to get continued positive strokes. Yikes…

The brilliance of the “CG” situation is enlightening. We all falsely believe WE are the better Writer. And, being amongst the ton is helpful. We are different people, voices, and points of view. Each lends a hand in improving each other in whichever state we find our current WIP. Work in progress, use your words, acronyms don’t make you sound smarter and it’s freaking annoying.

Is there a graceful way to ditch a peer group and move on? Without using flowery bullshit that grownups can decipher? And exactly what is being said to those left behind? I rock, you suck, later dudes.

We can see you, we have this thing called the internet.

Brilliant, NOT mine, #FML

Twenty-eight months ago I began the quest for my personal holy grail. I’ve met great people, industry professionals, received the worst advice given to mankind (that I inhaled) and spent thousands of dollars as every other would-be, wanna-be Writing genius. I have a collection of 4 blogs, 2 of which believe I am dead, too many social media accounts to keep up with and am the proud owner of multiple pen names. I have walked away from critique groups and, recently, have been walked out on.

Bound to happen, right?

The decerning piece is when I give my word to writers who have asked something if me, I follow through to the best of my ability and while I don’t have the whole shit and caboodle figured out, I will.

Only the best-Truly-Sour grapes and all

Write On-<3 Jess

In Preparation for … Your Story in a Sentence—Crafting Your Log-Line.

 All hail Kristen Lamb…

I eagerly prepare to attend a class where public flogging is an anticipated event. Weary authors will stand in line, heads hung in despair and maybe a fleeting quiver of hope lodged like vomit bubbling in the back of their throat, humbly bowing before their master, waiting for THE “shredding” Knees quaking, writers will clench between white-knuckled-fingers a two sentence description of their manuscript. Peeping through half-closed lids, fearing the removal of an outstretched hand, we will offer our meager sacrifice stained in hours of coffee slobber and sweat.

Phew….

How is it that one can be filled with an obnoxious combination of enthusiasm and apprehension at the same time?

http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles/images/954921/title/raphael-loves-beer-fanart

Adrenaline has become this, moi, writer’s bubbly, knocking it back as an eager freshman. There is definitely something peculiarly wrong with this picture. I feel as though I am a dark age villager, preparing her lunch to watch the beheading of another crier of the written word, a fellow peer, and friend, standing first row before the hovering guillotine, hoping mid-bite, perhaps, that I shall be the next oblation.

And if called upon, what will I do?

A year and a half ago, I would have shrunk behind the crowds, disappearing into the swarms of rowdy peasants hailing curses and throwing rotten tomatoes. Fast forward to present day, I will be first to watch the spectacle. My glasses pushed high on the bridge of my nose with pencil sharpened, journal wide-open, praying to absorb the ink splatter. And will dance with Gene Kelly as he belts out,“Singing in the Rain,” shouting, “Pick me! Pick me!”

So you ask what is a log-line? I found Gideon’s Tips and he describes it like this …

“LOGLINES are a 1-2 sentence description of your script. They aim to identify the main character, the tone, the conflict and give an idea of theme and plot. Some loglines can stretch out to 3-4 sentences and are more like mini-synopses. A new trend is emerging to describe your film in 25 words or less. Whatever the format, the purpose of the logline is for you to quickly pitch your script to a producer and talent to convey the general concept. Another recent trend in loglines is to pose a hypothetical question such as “what if”? or “imagine if”?

The basic anatomy of a logline is: Character A must achieve a goal, but character B blocks him in a unique way different to other films. Character A emerges a changed person by learning something about themselves or  humanity at large.”

Thanks, Gideon! I’ll let you know how it went.

Write On! ❤ Jessica